False Impressions and Vital Information
by Keryous Seastryder
Summary: Kyohei discovers the concept of Shizaya, Shizuo acts a bit flustered, Izaya obtains an unlikely customer and Tom gets jealous of an air conditioner. Yaoi.


**Pairings: Shizuo/Tom, hint of Kadota/Togusa, and barely-there-maybe-one-sided Shizaya.**

**Summary: Kyohei discovers the concept of Shizaya, Shizuo acts a bit flustered, Izaya obtains an unlikely customer and Tom gets jealous of an air conditioner. **

**Warnings: Yaoi, language, idiocy, and Izaya-grade mindscrew. Maybe just a peppering of crack?**

Heiwajima Shizuo leaned his head back against the faux leather of a Russia Sushi booth, fidgeted, shifted, and groaned. He used his finger to catch the dripping condensation on the side of his now empty milkshake glass. He glanced at the clock above the sushi bar. 12:48 p.m. _12:48 p.m. _That's eighteen minutes past 12:30. _Eighteen minutes. _

_Where the hell is Kadota? _He thought, trying to keep his anger in check, _It's not like him to be late. Besides, I'm taking time off work! Oh, man, I told Tom-sempai I'd meet up with him at one..._

"Shizuo stood up?" Simon asked too cheerfully, walking up with his notepad, to take an order. "Chunky Monkey Sushi make Shizuo feel fuzzy!"

"Hm. Why aren't you passing out flyers, Simon?"

"Not need! So much business! Makes so many people pleased! Plus, out of paper," the darker man said.

Shizuo just scoffed and shook his head. "Kadota's usual, please. And another banana milkshake."

"Soba and tempura with green tea, banana milkshake," Simon repeated back, scribbling the order on his notepad. He lumbered away, still wearing his happy face.

Shizuo waited some more. And a bit more. He glanced impatiently at the clock once more. 12:54.

_Tom-sempai is not gonna be pleased,_ he fumed, a blonde brow twitching.

"Yo!"

The irate Heiwajima looked up at his long time friend. His eyes widened. Kadota was cherry red in the face and looked distinctly ruffled. His hat was clutched in a white-knuckled hand at his side, while the other yanked through what Erika liked to call his "Aizen locks" of chocolate hair. And he was really late. All of this was not only unusual for Kadota, but unheard of. Something didn't sit right in this situation.

"The hell happened to you?" The rather simplistic blonde grunted as his tardy companion sat across from him. Kadota gave an awful attempt at a smile.

"Erika and Walker, naturally," the smaller male shuddered, "There's something they brought to my attention that we, er... must discuss..."

Shizuo raised a fair brow. He was late and was speaking formally, a sure sign he was uncomfortable.

_What kinda shit were those damn otaku rambling about this time? _He thought about saying, but settled for a grunt of approval.

"Kadota! You show up! Good, good. Shizuo has good taste for partner." Simon grinned while setting down their order. Kadota jolted a bit at Simon's assumptions that Shizuo had yet to correct, but nodded thanks to the server. He sent Shizuo a look. Shizuo just shrugged.

"Well, back to what I was speaking of earlier, I have a question for you." Kyohei was back to refusing to meet his friend's gaze.

Said friend nodded for him to continue.

"Don't get mad, 'kay?"

Another nod.

"It's about you and Orihara Izaya."

"_Izayaaaa." _The man hissed as if the name brought him actual pain. He said it like a curse. Kyohei waited until he received another begrudging nod.

Kadota Kyohei seemed completely and totally uncomfortable with what he was about to say, but damn it, Shizuo had waited almost a half hour for this conversation, he was going to finish it. Silence reigned. Kadota fidgeted, but said nothing. Shizuo sighed.

"Kyohei. Just spit it the fuck out."

At this encouragement the brunette wrung his hat in his hands.

"Look, there is no subtle way to ask this, so I'm just gonna ask."

Shizuo took a sip from his milkshake, glad they were finally getting on with it.

"Are you in a sexual relationship with Orihara Izaya?"

Shizuo choked on the sugary goodness, slamming a fist down on the table. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

"I said don't get mad!" Kyohei retorted, glancing around to make sure the other customers hadn't noticed any disturbance.

"How can I not?" The furious blonde demanded, gripping the edge of the abused table between them in a perilous grip, "Everyone knows how much I hate that little flea! How would you even come about assuming that? Disgusting!"

Kyohei looked at blonde and smiled in something like a mixture of relief and embarrassment ,"Well, Walker and Erika... they were talking... And I, well...?"

Kyohei took a deep breath. "You trip my gaydar, Shizuo."

Shizuo flushed. "So what? That automatically makes me the flea's lover?"

"Well, no. I just thought since you guys are so passionate and hands on..." The brunette shuddered.

"D-don't say it like that!" Shizuo spluttered furiously, looking like he was going to be sick.

Kadota shuddered and nodded before turning his attention back to Shizuo.

"So, you are gay though?" he questioned.

"Well, er... Sorta?"

The faux blonde looked rather bashful, something he rarely showed. Kyohei's interests peaked.

"You're sorta gay?" Kadota scoffed, remembering when he confessed his feelings to Togusa, who had ashamedly replied that he was 'kinda bent'.

"Shaddup. I'm only interested in one person... Male or otherwise." The larger man quipped.

Kadota nodded attentively, but said nothing, opting to pick at his tempura. Shizuo waited for the inevitable question, but it seemed that Kyohei was going to take his time with it. Instead, he sipped his tea.

"Kadota. Aren't you going to ask who?"

The brunette raised an eyebrow.

"Don't take this wrong Shizuo, I am interested. Even if I did ask, though, would you really tell me?"

Shizuo was silent for a moment, before replying softly, "Yeah... You might be able to help me confess."

Kadota arched his brow even higher before chuckling.

"Of course, but confessions are person specific, so I gotta know who it is that has caught your eye."

**~FI&VI~**

Tanaka Tom walked into Russia Sushi expecting to find his body guard having such a great time that he had forgotten about meeting with his boss. Instead he found him stuttering and looking embarrassed at some vaguely familiar brunette.

Shizuo hated being embarrassed like that, and wouldn't spare embarrassment on just anyone. Normally he threw a vending machine at anything even slightly intimidating.

_This guy must be fairly close to Shizu-tan,_ he thought.

Tom gave a start at himself using _that_ particular nickname. He blushed a bit. Tom hadn't called his naive little kohai Shizu-tan for quite some time- and never to his face, of course, he knew how to stay on the consumer side of vending machines, and well away from the victim side- for Shizuo always thought it sounded too much like Orihara's pet name. He _had _dreamt of his precious monster on his knees once again last night, which he also hadn't done since middle school.

And it was all because of that damned Orihara Izaya and his provocative "gift."

Tom refocused his attention on his subordinate just in time to catch what the blonde was saying.

"The person who I'm, uh... interested in is...," Shizuo hesitated, looking away from the brunette, and straight at Tom.

"Tom-sempai!" The blonde blurted out in shock.

Tom frowned a little at being spotted, having wanted to hear the end of Shizuo's sentence. Jealousy was eating at him slightly. Shizu-tan was interested in someone?

Tom didn't like this.

"Your employer? That Tom?" The brunette asked before noticing that Shizuo's attention was no longer on him. He turned to see what Shizuo was looking at.

Tom raised a hand of greeting, returning his expression to his normal mask of unaffected sloth. The brunette inspected Tom for a quick second before sharing an intense look with Shizuo. After seemingly coming to an understanding, Shizuo threw some money onto the table.

"See ya later, Kadota. I gotta work."

Tom gave Shizuo an inquisitive look, but the blonde didn't respond to it. In fact, Shizuo spent the rest of the day sheepishly avoiding communication with Tom, and even his violence was kept to a minimal.

Tom didn't like this either. And he couldn't shake the feeling it was because of Shizu-tan's crush on that mystery man. Tom didn't like this at all.

Perhaps it was time to pay Orihara-san a visit.

**A/N: Hello! Thank you for reading my first fanfic! I figured Durarara! would be a nice fandom to start in. Shizuo/Tom doesn't get enough love as it is so I wrote one. This will most like be a three shot, and the next chapter should be up soon. Reviews would be much appreciated!**


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